02-17-04,My struggles to find the next version of me that still has the original hardware which has served me well all these years is quite a challenge.
April 4.0
I sometimes wax poetic about him, life's sorrows ,this heavy burden, moving through and beyond -but the daily reality feels so much harsher and grittier.
My emotional landscape is changing daily.
I never quite feel the same way.
Even when I think there is stagnation- life is moving on.
This morning I woke up with my plans for the ensuing day, not his absence from it.
That comes later in the day during a quiet moment.
It is a step forward through this life I am still leading hestitantly
yet forcecably.
