08-23-03, My Letter to Griefnet Members :
These losses we have all endured are like chasms in our souls.
In order to survive spiritually, physically and mentally we must realize that to continue on , we need to heal, but there will always be a scar.
That person was an integral part of our own existence and now through means we do not understand and could not control no longer exists.
That void in our psyche, a realization of our innate humanness , no real
control over our reality
and no known comfort zones .
So many unanswered questions-what the hell am I doing on this earth with
this kind of pain ? What did I do to deserve this ?What did they do to
deserve this ?
Shaking our moral foundations, trying our spirit and then the grief monster
threatening to eat us alive.
At some point you make the decision to reluctantly move on in your own
life with the whispers of yesterday always in the corners of your mind.
What could have beens, what should have beens and what ifs.
Sink or swim , survive or wither away , realizing how precious your life is
and continue to march on battle scarred but still standing.
