Wednesday, May. 07, 2003,Today Hana came over to make baklava...
it's delish...
whole wheat pastry. Falls apart though.
Asked her to use less sugar though. Don't want it too sweet.
Been trying to help Julie ( my stepdaughter)by keeping in touch with e-mails . I just can't talk to her on the phone , too much emotion for me . It's easier for me to write.She's a real wreck about her Dad . Plus she's got a dying mother ( who I never cared for , but nevertheless doesn't deserve to die of brain cancer), and a 13 year old handicapped daughter , 2 other kids and a new husband. Her plate is full.
She's on meds, stress overload. Shaking ,uncontrolled crying .
I never had a good relationship with his other kids. I tried so hard , but his ex really messed them up. Fed them so many false stories . He , of course, always carried guilt from the breakup of their family , subsequent moving out of the area and the infrequent visits. We just couldn't afford to have him go more than every 2-3 years. He paid child support and whatever else he could regularily. They both came to live with us seperately in 85-86 & 86-87.
Hard on all of us . Julie left early , she had the hardest time.
I will keep communicating for awhile , but I am not too hot on seeing them at my doorstep one day. Especially , Cory
porno shop/druggie 32 year old man with a gay lifestyle ( the gay I think I am ok with- it's the other stuff ).
He's probably spent the insurance on God Knows What. Julie said as much. There is more money coming , I haven't told them yet as Julie says she doesn't want it - she gave a bunch away . And Cory ... he'll harrang everybody everday with it , like he did with the other amount. He stopped calling after he got his money I was told.Never even cared to check up on the ongoing investigation afterwards.
At first I didn't like the money because of the way I got it either , but then practicality set in. I need to feed, clothe and have a place to live and so does Steff .
This is Tom's Gift , his legacy , his will. He gave us that money if the unthinkable happened. He thought of our futures.
And then the unthinkable did happen.
