01-01-04,I think I began to see little bits of joy in my life again about 8 -10 months ago.
I must have a survival instinct of some kind in me, because I just realized that I couldn't live and be that sad all the time.
I never thought of suicide.
But you can die a little inside everyday and I didn't want that.
I knew he wouldn't either.
I am at nearly 18 months now.
When I take my walks in the setting sun I can marvel at the beautiful Texas sky with it's brilliant hues.
Driving past the seawall in Galveston the other night and seeing the waves crashing to the shore in the light of the night sky was superb.
Laughing at a good comedy show , marvelling at the pearl exhibit at the museum and the wonder of seeing an actual mummy for the first time .
Watching my daughter mature, enjoying our dogs antics.
Oh, yes I still wish he were here with me to view all this,
but he isn't.
I take it all in , I soak it up.
Life still has wonders to show me.
