10-30-03,I am so often speechless lately, groping desperately for words and meanings to acts that I see, hear or read about that boggle the mind.
I too still sit there on some days with my life in a pile of rubble around me .
Sadness is a state of being for me .
Occasionally the sun shines through the darkness for me and I reach for life again.
Sometimes I get a grasp of it , and sometimes , it's too slippery and falls through.
I won't give up, but on some days the struggle is harder than others.
Sometimes an hour goes by and I haven't thought of him.
Sometimes I dream a dream without him in it.
Sometimes I hear song lyrics that don't make me cry.
Everyday that passes takes me farther away from who we were into who I am becoming.
Some days that's ok, and some days it isn't.
Some days I just miss him, and some days I miss just having a man that cares about me in my life.
I wouldn't pay to see my movie.
